The French sure know how to make wine. But they could not SELL wine to save their lives (from an invasion of barbarians!) Look at any label from any wine made outside of France… be it the US, Chile, Argentina, Australia, etc… you get some clue as to what is inside. The type of grape, the blend (if there is one), all sorts of useful information.

Not so the French.

Their labels are only comprehensible to the French. What little I know about French and French wines I could squeeze into a small envelope and have room left over for a letter. What I do know is that this wine was cheap, and it was red, so I bought it. If I have one quality you can admire it is consistency, I’ll never pass up a cheap red I’ve never tried before.

The price tag was around $12. If you think about that for a moment it is pretty amazing. Here is something from halfway around the world, hand crafted over a period of more than a year, and then transported to my grocer on the other side of the planet. Too bad I can’t comprehend what I’m buying or perhaps I’d buy some more. I truly only picked this bottle up because of the price. I’m sure that some Frenchman somewhere is insulted by that fact, but so be it.

I’ve had some amazing French wines in my day (all on somebody else’s tab) so I know they are truly masters of the art of wine making. I just would not know how to pick one out from the label.

Mrs. Barbarian and I enjoyed this wine with an herbed chicken I whipped up one night. Since we had a French wine I went overboard with the butter when I sauteed the veggies (don’t tell the Mrs!) Yum. This Rhone red was quite tasty. For the price you can’t really go wrong.

2005 Domaine de L’Ameillaud Cotes du Rhone

I’m bewildered by the French, but I’m sure they’re OK with that.

Mind you, unlike many of my countrymen, I harbor no ill will towards them. I don’t think they are cowards. I don’t belittle their military history (I’ve read plenty about the Napoleonic Era, and lots about WWI, where the French did plenty of ass-kicking.) I actually thought they were damn smart to tell George W. Bush to “Va te faire foutre” when W said “are you wit’ us or again’ us? about Iraq. History will prove them right. Hell, history HAS proven them right! Besides, they are the only world power who has NEVER gone to war against us. We should LOVE the French!

Oh yeah, I Love Pomme Frites!

But despite having their fair language hammered into my brain for four years in school, I can’t speak it to save my life; can barely read it; and can only understand it when spoken by drunken Quebecois. Go figure.

I love French Wine though. I wish I knew enough to buy it with confidence, but I don’t. 99 times out of 100 you’ll see French Wines listed here in the “On Somebody Else’s Tab” category because I don’t know enough (yet!) to make my choices wisely when zere ees Francais sur la boutille.

This one was just so cheap (well under $10!) that I figured “Que l’Enfer?”

It is a typical Rhone Red, in that is a blend. Shockingly enough the importer put a Yank-Friendly label on the back: 50% Grenache, 20% Syrah, 15% Carignan, 15% Cinsault. It appears to be the “second label” of Chateau de Beaucastel.

It went down well. A nice cheap red. Great for an afternoon or evening. Cheese & crackers. Fruit or snacks. Not really a wine to pair up with a slab o’ flesh though.

Might be a good wine for a cheap bachelor to bring to a date. After all, it has a big cock on the label.